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"Final Bell" for Russian orphans: where will I go, what will I do?

After fun on the playground, children posed for this photo

(Note: each year at time for "final bell" in Russian schools, I remember Katia. "Help for Children" is now helping graduates from Luga orphanage who go to St. Petersburg for technical school.)

The Final Bell

The “final bell”: a bittersweet day for Russian orphans

The “final bell”. “Final bell” is how Russians label their last day of school and graduation day. The final bell often rings in somber, worrisome tones for the orphans of Russia. Most of us think of graduation as a joyous occasion: the beginning of a journey into the future to live out childhood dreams.

For orphans, the final bell begins the world’s most cruel surprise party. Orphans have lived all or most of their lives in an institution: following strict schedules, making no decisions, being told what to do and how to do it, learning no life skills. Then…final bell. They graduate and are thrown into the world, like birds who are set free but have never learned to fly. Easy prey for the villains of the world. Nine out of 10 face a future of drugs, alcohol, prison, prostitution, or suicide.

I will never forget that day on a muddy playground in northeast Russia, three weeks before final bell. We were visiting one of the internat orphanage schools where our Russian church team has been ministering to children for several years. We enjoyed a lunch of soup and bread with the children, and migrated outside to the still-recovering-from-winter playground. It was a bright and warm spring day, a rarity for early May in this part of Russia. Skies cloudless. Gentle breeze. Coat-quickly-coming-off weather. Within minutes, the playground was alive with running, laughing, tagging, yelling, and games. Children showing off on the one piece of antiquated playground equipment. A soccer ball being kicked back and forth on the gray-brown field.

We sat with a group of the older children on a broken-down bench at one side of the playground. As we watched the amazing show of energy and life, I wanted to freeze-frame the afternoon. It was like a patch of timeless joy in lives headed to an almost certain dead-end. I wanted to keep these children from ever having to hear the final bell.

“Final bell…it’s only three weeks away,” I thought to myself. “I wonder if any of the children sitting with us are graduating.”

I turned and asked: “Are any of you graduating this year?”

Katia smiled and then raised her hand: “Yes….”

“Congratulations Katia! Where will you be living when you leave the school?” (I knew that many of the children who graduate from this internat have to move at least three hours away.)

Katia’s smile melted. She looked down, staring at the stubble of spring grass pushing up through the patch of mud between her feet. Silence. She continued to stare at the ground. The children who sat with us waited politely. Quietness. We waited. And waited.

Finally Katia had to answer: “I don’t know….”

At that point, I should have been wise enough to change the subject, but I really wanted to know what she would be studying in vo-tech school, which is supposed to be the next grade for internat graduates.

So I asked, “What will you be doing when you graduate?”

Katia continued to stare into the ground… arms folded… bent over in a stomach-ache-kind-of position. Her entire posture and countenance said that she wanted to cry, but she held back the tears with the toughness she had acquired from her lifetime within the gray walls of the orphanage.

Again, a long wait until she decided on her answer that came slowly in an apologetic voice: “I don’t know.”

I held back the tears that I wanted to shed with Katia. Quickly, we changed the subject back to the playground, the impromptu soccer match, the beauty of the day, and the excitement and joy of being together and sharing our love with the children that we had grown to know and love.

Unfortunately, Katia’s dilemma is normal. The majority of orphans who graduate from the internat schools of Russia have no hopes and dreams for their future. If there is anything worse than living in an orphanage, it’s living in an internat orphanage. Children whose parents have any kind of social problem are likely to end up in the internat school, where they are routinely diagnosed as slow learners and children with problems. Based on our ministry to children in the internat orphanages, these schools are full of beautiful, talented, kind, and smart children who will never have a chance to develop what God has placed within them. Those who go on to vocation school often have to relocate to a far away community. They usually give up after a month of two in strange and lonely surroundings. They drop out, somehow get back to their town and familiar faces, and try to find their way in an unfamiliar world. Many will live on the streets; some find shelter with other children their age. Most will somehow find enough money for cheap vodka or grain alcohol. They seek temporary solace in the arms of another. Babies are conceived. Babies are born and are given up to the orphanage baby houses. The vicious cycle continues.

When we first started working with Russian orphans, we thought what orphans need is clothing, showers, computers, games, fruit, and ice cream. Time and experience has taught us the only solid answer for orphans is to get them into families. We still minister to children where they are in the orphanages, but we focus on encouraging foster homes, transitional homes, and adoption.

Much prayer is needed. Only God can make the changes necessary to set the orphanage children of Russia into families.

When we think about Katia, we rejoice in knowing that, through our faithful volunteers at the church nearby, she has heard the good news of Jesus Christ. Not just once but on many occasions. Someday the real final bell will sound for Katia and all of us. We pray that on that day Katia will finally know where she is going and what she will be doing: living forever in God’s big family.

Ken Dockery, co-founder, Big Family Mission
http://www.bigfamilyministry.org 

Russian orphans ask: What are these things called “Valentines”?



Several families in the USA and other countries volunteered to send valentines to the children at orphanages in Russia and India.
Mail going to Russia often takes longer than it is supposed to, but finally the valentines reached their destination!
Natasha and “Help for Children” distributed the cards to children at Jukki and Luga orphanages.  The valentines created a lot of excitement among the children!
   Natasha writes: “We want to thank everyone who has spent time and sent Valentines to our children in Jukki and Luga! It usually takes long time for the envelopes to arrive to us from U.S., so we have just been able to bring the Valentines to the children - they were arriving every other day! 
   “Although the day of 14 of February was long ago, it is never too late to say the good words to the children in need, to let them know that they are loved and not forgotten!
    “I didn't expect that those cards will cause such interest of children! It was so special for them to receive the Valentines.  They were sharing, showing each other the cards, I have translated them all. We do not have such cards in Russia. We had made a game with the sets of such Valentines (they went in boxes with cartoons heroes).
   “Every child was taking a card and we said that the words that are written there are just for him personally - such words as "loved", “you are the best friend", "I am missing you" encouraged every child, and such words as “you are cool", "funny", and “fashionable" brought a lot of laughter.
   “Our children had such fun sharing and playing that game, they asked us to distribute the cards with the wishes again and again! Thank you, everyone, who brought a lot of laughter and love into the orphanage!”

   Our thanks to everyone who took the time to send a valentine to an orphan in Russia or India to let that child know that they are special and are very much loved by their heavenly Father!  We introduced this project on Facebook… so if you have not found and liked “Big Family Mission” on Facebook, we are here: www.facebook.com/BigFamilyMission

   Learn how you can help Natasha and her team minister to Russian orphans here:  Adopt a Russian Orphanage.

Meet 11 Russian orphans who want to learn more about Jesus Christ!

This summer, 11 orphans from Luga Orphanage (about four hours south of St. Petersburg) will have the opportunity to spend two weeks at a summer church camp at New Generation Church in Gatchina. 

These fun-filled weeks will encourage the kids to take their relationship with God to a whole new level. According to Natasha Kirillova, head of the Help for Children ministry in St. Petersburg, the orphans at Luga are already expressing a personal interest in getting to know God. They continue to ask a lot of questions about Christianity, and some have begun to read the Bible regularly and to pray.
If sending orphans to a summer camp sounds easy enough, think again. There are new regulations that often make paperwork a time-consuming challenge, and then there is the challenge of funding.
In order to attend summer camp in Gatchina, these precious children need to find sponsors to cover their expenses. "Children are looking forward for that opportunity," says Natasha, "and will be happy and grateful to every sponsor."
The cost for each child to spend two weeks at the Christian camp is about $200. These gifts are considered as more than simply generous donations. They are investments, both in the lives of the Russian orphans and in the kingdom of God.

Meet all of the 11 children who are hoping to go to the summer church camp here:  Summer church camp.

If you prefer to read about the children in Russian language, please click here:  Summer church camp (Russian version).

To make a donation to help these children attend summer church camp, just click on the GIVE button to go to our secure donation page.


You may donate online using credit or debit card or direct deduction from checking... or contribute via mail.

Three day symposium: child welfare, adoption, orphan care

Just three more days to register without a late registration fee...
The 37th Annual Child Welfare Symposium, conducted by the Joint Council on International Children's Services will be held in New York City on May 20-22, 2013 at The Conference Center, 130 E. 59th Street, NY, NY 10022.
Every year, the Symposium brings together 200 professionals in the area of child welfare, adoption, and orphan care for three days of information gathering, idea sharing, and networking. 
All those with an interest in ensuring that children live, grow, and flourish in a permanent, safe, and loving family are invited to attend.
Workshops at the 2012 Symposium covered topics such as post-adoption nutrition, the future of international adoption, and the changing media landscape with regard to permanency solutions for children. This year, workshops will discuss the needs of children in Haiti, India, Ethiopia and China, as well as financial organizational empowerment, medical and nutritional issues, orphan care issues, and intercountry curricula. More information on these workshops can be found here.
Last year, speakers included Rita Soronen, Executive Director of the Dave Thomas Foundation, Kathleen Strottman, Executive Director of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and Ambassador Susan Jacob from the U.S. Department of State. 
A complete list of 2013 speakers is available on our Speakers page.This year's Symposium has new speakers and new sessions covering topics such as financial organizational empowerment, orphan care, and intercountry adoption. 
The Symposium will also feature country caucus discussions on the needs of children without family care specifically in Haiti, India, Ethiopia, and China.

Top 10 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Live Webinar sponsored by Joint Council on International Children's Services and Adoption Learning Partners

Tuesday
May 14, 2013
7:00PM Central 
Q&A: 8:00PM



Adopted people and adoptive parents don’t always look at adoption the same way. Many of the issues adoptees struggle with may be difficult for parents to understand and come to terms with. And it’s ever changing. A parent’s and a child’s adoption experiences change over time, based on life events, ability to understand the circumstances, and new facts as they become available or are discovered.


Understanding your child’s feelings about adoption is essential, so how do you gain some insight?

We’ve gathered a panel of adopted people, to discuss:
  • What they wish their parents had known
  • Their feelings about loss, shame and anger and their love for their parents
  • What feelings they shared with their parents and what they kept to themselves 
For more information and to register, visit Adoption Learning Partners website here.  

Adopting from India: adoption process is different from many countries


We often get questions about adopting from India.  Marla Summers has researched such adoptions, and offers these insights and resources...
By Marla Summers

 No one ever said that doing hard things comes naturally, much less easily. But in some way that’s why we attempt what everyone else deems confusing and challenging. Something in us make us fly to the other side of the globe and navigate foreign regulations and brave a culture so different than our own. Something that makes those long months of waiting so worth it. Something that goes beyond the physical, stretching us farther than our highest dreams. The journey? Adoption.

Why India?

According to UNICEF, India is home to over 55 million orphans, making up almost half of its total child population. India stands first in the world for the number of orphaned children, as well as those affected by HIV, both rates being expected to double in the next five years. The unimaginable challenges these children face is compounded by the stigma associated with the disease, marking them as a class of untouchables according to the caste system still present today. Many children are also abandoned by their parents due to the extreme poverty made no easier by feeding yet another mouth. 

India is a member of the Hague Adoption Convention, requiring its children to meet the requirements of the Convention in order to be eligible for adoption. The Government of India requires that the child must have placement attempted with a family in India before the child is eligible for international adoption or fostering. Around 4,000 Indian orphans found their way into stable homes in the U.S. the past decade, a number that is expected to decline in the next few years. And that’s bad news for the growing numbers of abandoned children who call the streets of India their home.

Guidelines for Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAPs)

The Government of India allows a child to be given in adoption under the following circumstances:
- To an individual irrespective of his or her marital status
- To a childless couple
- To a couple with at least two years of stable marital relationship 
- There may be no more than three children already in the home

More specifically, there is additional eligibility criteria for PAPs as outlined by the government to ensure the well-being and stability of the child's new family. The legal age of the PAP(s) is between 25 and 50 years, give or take five years depending on the age of the child and the circumstances. Couples in live-in relationships are not eligible to adopt a child, and the Indian Government does not knowingly place children with homosexual couples. The PAP(s) should have sufficient financial resources to raise the child, especially if he or she has special needs. Also, neither PAP should have a physical or mental condition that would prevent them from taking care of the child. 

Beginning the Adoption Procedure

1. Choose an adoption service provider
2. Apply to be found eligible to adopt
3. Be matched with a child
4. Apply for the child to be found eligible for adoption
5. Adopt child (or gain legal custody) in India
6. Bring  the child to the US and acclimate to the culture and language                                                                                                               In total, the approximate cost of the adoption ranges from $13,000-$16,000 + travel + Indian visa + the cost of finalizing the adoption. PAPs must register with a single Hague-accredited adoption agency, located nearest to their place of residence if possible. All foreign adoptions from India go through the CARA authorized agency referred to as the Authorized Foreign Adoption Agency (AFAA) and follow the guidelines at the CARA website, www.adoptionindia.nic.in. After you have submitted your dossier, the waiting time will probably run over a year for a girl and probably longer for a boy, depending on availability. PAPs with Indian descent or those seeking to adopt special needs children are given priority in the adoptions.

Special Needs Children

For the purposes of adoption, the "special needs" banner extends to children in the following categories: 
- Children having visible or serious medical conditions, mental or physical
- Older children
- Siblings
- Extremely low birth weight children (as certified by a Government Medical Officer)

It is the role of the Specialized Adoption Agency to make efforts to prepare the special needs child for adoption, especially in the category of emotional preparation. The PAP(s) will receive detailed medical data and orientation sessions to help them to understand the child's needs and make an educated decision. It is advised that the older children are counseled and begin the bonding process as soon as possible, as well as learning English early on, if applicable.  Special needs children are often a better fit for older and experienced parents and those who have the skills, patience, and experience to be better equipped to parent such a child. 

Finalizing the Adoption

After the referral has been received, there will be a second wait of 4-6 months before the PAP(s) receives the legal documents required to travel to India to pick  up the child. There is a fair degree of differing on travel requirements, depending on the Indian child welfare institution your agency is connected with. The PAP(s) will be obligated to spend anywhere from 3-5 days to 5-6 weeks in the Indian state visiting the child or the institution. According to the Indian Government, the minimum adoption age for the child ranges from two to four years, depending on the state and agency. 

The process for finalizing the adoption (or gaining legal custody) in India generally includes the following three parties.

- Adoption Authority
The Central Adoption Resource Agency is the official national agency that oversees international adoptions in India.

- The Court
The court will normally require, at a minimum the “No Objection Certificate” (NOC), a birth certificate or affidavit of birth, and evidence of abandonment to grant the custody order.

- Role of Adoption Agencies
In addition, all recognized adoption agencies (or placement agencies) in India are local and must be registered with their Indian state Voluntary Coordinating Agency (VCA). Placement agencies do not provide national coverage, so PAPs must determine the Indian state from which they propose to adopt. The Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA), established in 1990, licenses all the VCAs and all Indian placement agencies.


Conclusion

Whether adoption has been something long on your heart or it is an option you have only just considered recently, there has never been a better time to give a child a second chance. The legal process may seem daunting, but the best journeys are never the easy ones. And you too will come to admire the struggling street children of India and the parents that work tirelessly to call them their own.

 “The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.” - Mother Teresa



Resources












Contact Information

Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA)
Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment
West Block VIII, Wing II
2nd Floor, R. K. Peram
New Delhi - 110 066
Tel: 91-011 618-0194

INDIA EMBASSY AND CONSULATES IN THE UNITED STATES:
Embassy of India, Washington, D.C.
2107 Massachusetts Ave, N. W.
Washington, D.C. 20008
Phone: (202) 939-7000

Russian orphans who want to learn more about Jesus: Zina Starostenkova


This summer, 11 orphans from Luga Orphanage (about four hours south of St. Petersburg) will have the opportunity to spend two weeks at a summer church camp at New Generation Church in Gatchina. 
These fun-filled weeks will encourage the kids to take their relationship with God to a whole new level. According to Natasha Kirillova, head of the Help for Children ministry in St. Petersburg, the orphans at Luga are already expressing a personal interest in getting to know God. They continue to ask a lot of questions about Christianity, and some have begun to read the Bible regularly and to pray.
If sending orphans to a summer camp sounds easy enough, think again. There are new regulations that often make paperwork a time-consuming challenge, and then there is the challenge of funding.
In order to attend summer camp in Gatchina, these precious children need to find sponsors to cover their expenses. "Children are looking forward for that opportunity," says Natasha, "and will be happy and grateful to every sponsor."
The cost for each child to spend two weeks at the Christian camp is about $200. These gifts are considered as more than simply generous donations. They are investments, both in the lives of the Russian orphans and in the kingdom of God.
Please meet Zina Starostenkova, one of the orphans who seeks a sponsor for the summer church camp:



Zina Starostenkova is a creative fourteen-year-old who enjoys playing soccer. Up until age five, she lived with her mother, grandmother, and brother. While for now she only occasionally visits her mother, she hopes to once again live at home.
You can give a donation to help Zina go to summer church camp by clicking on the GIVE button to go to our secure donation page.